I Have Low Expectations

The Metropolitan Transit Authority (MTA) owns what might be the last undeveloped piece of land in Manhattan (if you consider rail track undeveloped). They recently sold it to a developer called Tishman Speyer. It was some sort of $1 billion deal. Well, Tishman Speyer backed out.

Now I'm not gonna pretend to know anything about New York City commercial real estate or the terms of the deal or who's to blame for what.

But I've been a consumer of the MTA's services for more than fifteen years now. I've marveled as they've raised fares and cut services. I've been astonished as they've cooked books and somehow gotten a free ride. I've been floored by their constant ability to redefine "incompetent management."

So no, I'm not surprised that a real estate deal involving the MTA fell apart.

But What's Really Astonishing...

John Edwards endorses Obama. A third staunchly pro-Republican seat in Congress (this one in Mississippi) turned Democrat. And Fernando Tatis hit a single in last night's Mets game.

Really? Fernando Tatis?

As Mel Allen might've said, "How about that?"

Scottish Labour Reverses, Spins, Fades

I made the mistake of reading an article about Scottish politics before having my morning coffee.

So best I can tell, as follow up to that last post about the Scotland Referendum of Independence, Scottish Labour Leader Wendy Alexander has now been shamed. There's no longer a Labour Party line on a referendum, no matter what she said about not standing in the way.

The Tories continue to mock the national Labour Party, and Gordon Brown responds the way any good American would: He proposed a new tax cut.

What Stood Out This Week - 5/4-5/10

Is it over? It's over. But is it over over? Let's see What Stood Out This Week.

The Republican

John McCain got himself in the news a little bit this week, doing more than just letting his Democratic rivals pummel each other while he masturbated from the sidelines. On "The Daily Show" McCain once again discussed Obama's endorsement by Hamas. Obama accused him of "losing his bearings" with such attacks. The McCain Campaign accused Obama of using that phrase deliberately, injecting age into the race. I'm not sure that he was, McCain Campaign, but thanks for reminding us how fucking old John McCain is.

Cindy McCain says she will never ever ever ever ever, not in a million years release her tax returns. She's like Mitt Romney rich and is very private about it. Plus it's important no one ever finds out just how much John benefited from her extreme wealth. DUDE, IT'S TOTALLY EXTREME WEALTH! WOO-HOO!

Oh, and McCain may not have voted for Bush in 2000.

The Democrats

Barack Obama trounced in North Carolina; Hillary Clinton won a squeaker in Indiana. And news broke of a $6.4 million personal loan from the Clintons to the Clinton campaign. Thus endeth Hillary's claim on momentum. And even though it clearly (finally) spoke the end of Hillary's campaign, she soldiers on, like we all knew she would.

Her latest acts of desperation include, but are not limited to, the following:

- Trying to change the official delegate count. Now when Obama reaches the threshold of 2,025 to claim the nomination, she can still say he's got another 200 to go.

- Race-baiting. She's done well among working class white folks, and she called them "hard-working people, white people." Because, you see, the black folks of the Democratic Party are lazy bums. And we over-educated white people are just a bunch of effete elitists, like Hillary. But to be fair to myself, I wasn't born with nearly the privilege that she was. Anyway, race-baiting is ugly, Hillary, and shame on you.

So the question becomes, "What's her new agenda?" Now that the math has made it impossible for Hillary (Obama has overtaken her lead in superdelegates as well), what is she running for?

A generous possibility

Hillary's very likely going to win the West Virginia and Kentucky contests coming up. It would look better for the Democratic Party if Obama lost to Hillary rather than to no one. So maybe she's staying in to make Obama look better! Hello? Anyone? No?

A few more likely possibilities

1) Hillary's campaign is massively in debt - to her personally and to others. Maybe as much as $25 million in debt. Obama could pay that shit off today if she asked. It's a tricky proposition, though. A lot of Obama supporters wouldn't like it much, especially since so much of the debt is owed to Hillary's head Dickhead Mark Penn. Still, there could be some behind the scenes maneuvering to get the debt paid off in return for a graceful exit (if that's even possible at this point).

2) Hillary's angling for a leadership position of some sort. The most obvious, of course, would be Vice President. I'd be surprised if that's what she wants, though. The Vice President has traditionally been totally isolated from the administration it serves (Gore and Cheney being recent exceptions, but exceptions nonetheless). The Nation featured an online article stating that if Hillary's VP Obama should name Chelsea official food taster. Gee, it's almost like people expect anything from the Clintons. And I'd be very surprised if Obama would want Hillary as his VP anyway. I could see that being a deal-breaker.

So if not VP what other possibilities are there? Senate Majority Leader? Supreme Court Justice (when some of those old liberals retire/die)? Secretary of State? I actually think that Hillary would be a hell of a Senate Majority Leader, and maybe Harry Reid would even take a dive on behalf of party unity.

3) She's running for 2012. Maybe her goal is to make Obama such a broken candidate that he won't win in 2008, and she'll be able to run again in 2012. I'd like to think that even the Clintons aren't this devious, but the longer this primary drags out the more sense it makes to me.

A Quitter

John Edwards voted this past week in the North Carolina primary, and wouldn't say for whom he voted. But he may have slipped up, referring to the recipient of his vote as "him." On the other hand, it could've been his Southern drawl, using the plural pronoun them to replace the singular neuter candidate and shortened to 'em. If he and Elizabeth can agree on an endorsement, they'll go public soon. I'm guessing they split their votes.

There you go: McCain focuses on Obama; Obama focuses on McCain; and Hillary continues to attack Obama.

And that's What Stood Out This Week.

I'm an Adolescent

Because it's a rainy day, making it difficult to do any work, I'm going to share with you the BBC headline causing my afternoon giggle:

Great tits cope well with warming

It's about birds. Grow up, dear B&E readers.

The BBC lobs it in; feel free to hit it out of the park. As for me, I'm enjoying the wheels churning inside my head more than any of the particular comments I have on the tips of my fingers.

The Nastiest Commuters

Good night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs bite.

New York City has had a bit of a bedbugs epidemic the past few years. Several people I know have had to deal with the nightmare, and I think an infestation ranks among the missus' biggest fears. They don't discriminate: housing projects, luxury hotels, working class neighborhoods, fashionable neighborhoods. They're everywhere. They're disgusting, annoying, and very difficult to get rid of.

Well, they're on the freakin' subways, too.

Don't sit on the wood benches on the subway platform, New Yorkers. At some point, they're no longer bedbugs, but... I don't know... everywherebugs.

Keeping an Eye on Scotland

The missus and I try to keep up with the goings-on in Scotland (it being the missus' home country and all). And I've attempted to explain on B&E, occasionally incorrectly, Scottish politics, which are endlessly fascinating and more than a little confusing.

We have a two-party duopoly in American politics (yes, I'm on Ralph Nader's email list, too), but in the United Kingdom they believe in a real range of political parties. To the outside observer (me), the various parties and parliaments and leaders get rather confusing. Commoners, Lords, Ladies, wigs, no wigs, earwigs... it's all a lot to take in.

And let's not even start considering the role of the Royal Family. Duke of Edinburgh? Holyrood Palace? Whaaaaa...?

I was going to link to myself for some backup information, but it's so inaccurate in so many ways, I should probably just re-summarize. At best, the following will be oversimplified. At worst, I could get some things wrong. I'm American, after all, and we like our politics black and white (or male and female).

Scottish Parliament
Scottish Parliament was created in the 1990s and has a somewhat limited scope. Scotland is after all part of a larger Britain (one might even call it a Great Britain--England, Scotland, Wales) and a United Kingdom (Scotland, England, Wales, Northern Ireland, and various smaller islands). So Scottish Parliament can make decisions about how tax revenue is spent, for example, but they can't raise or lower the taxes on their fellow citizens. Major decisions are still made in the UK Parliament in London.

Political Parties in Scotland
Labour Party - Scotland has typically been a Labour supporter. They were traditionally considered a working class party until Tony Blair and Gordon Brown (more on him in a moment) shifted "New Labour" to the right politically. Bill Clinton was the moderate Democrat president, and Blair entered office as a moderate (or relevant, depending on whom you ask) Labour prime minister. Best I can tell, the Labour Party in Britain is closest to the current Democratic Party in the U.S.

Conservative Party - The Tories are the party of Margaret Thatcher and John Major. They've hit a bit of a rough patch in recent years, in part thanks to the New Labour movement and in part due to their own failings while governing. I've never met a Brit with good feelings about Thatcher. People must've liked her at some point (she was in office for a long time), but those people must either be dead or hiding. They're now led by a cunning fellow called David Cameron. The Tories are Britain's Republican Party.

Liberal Democrats - I don't really know, but I assume that the Lib-Dems grew in power along with New Labour (although they're still definitely a smaller party). They are to the left of Labour politically, and I'm assuming that as New Labour walked away from "old" Labour policies, the Lib-Dems started gaining support. They're led by Nick Clegg, a man I know absolutely nothing about. I'd compare the Lib-Dems to the Green Party, except that there's a pretty influential Green Party in Britain too. Really, the Lib-Dems are like FDR Democrats. If the Democratic Party left had rebelled against Bill Clinton's run to the middle and formed its own party, maybe they'd be the Lib-Dems.

Scottish Nationalist Party - The SNPs refer to themselves as a "left-leaning nationalist party advocating secession from the United Kingdom." The SNPs were founded in the 1930s by a group of nationalists, obviously, that included the missus' grandfather. Today they're led by a bloke called Alex Salmond, which is like the fish but with a "d" on the end. We have no comparable party in the U.S. Maybe if New England Democrats wanted to declare independence from the rest of the country, they'd be like the SNPs. Actually, I could get behind a party like that.

The Greens and the Socialists usually have a tiny voice/representation in government as well.

Quick aside: I love that the names of the political parties in the U.K. actually give you a good idea of what they represent/where they stand on various issues.

Last year's Scottish elections
Historically, Scotland has been very pro-Labour. Tony Blair screwed that up. Even now that Gordon Brown (a Scot) is Prime Minister, many Scots have turned their backs on Labour. The Tories don't typically fare very well in Scottish elections. In fact, the Lib-Dems have usually done better. And the SNPs have always had their supporters, but until recently, they were mostly considered a one-issue party: independence.

But Alex Salmond and the SNPs were vocally against the Iraq War before it began (the loudest voice of dissent in Scotland), and because they've been proven right, they've also gotten themselves some legitimacy.

So during last year's Scottish Parliament elections, they pulled a lot of support away from Labour and eked out a win to be the ruling party. Alex Salmond, then, is first minister of Scotland.

The SNPs don't have a majority. It's difficult for a single party to hold a majority thanks to the many parties. So the ruling party forms coalitions with parties that share their interests. In this case, the SNPs reached out to the Lib-Dems, but the Scottish Lib-Dem leader wouldn't agree to an official coalition unless the referendum for independence was off the table. They're the SNPs. They want independence. So the SNP's rule as a minority.

Based on reports from the missus' father (who very often gets things wrong) and others (including newspapers), it seems that Salmond and the SNPs are doing a good job in this role. Salmond made one misstep in his attempt to partner with Donald Trump to build a giant-ass golf course, but a couple shepherds kept that nonsense from happening. Mostly, Salmond and the SNPs are just hunkering down and doing the work of the Scottish people, proving that they're about more than just independence.

The Referendum for Independence
Salmond has been saying that once they get a couple years of ruling under their belts, the SNPs are going to bring this referendum for independence to the people for a vote. It's not clear at the moment whether the Scottish people would vote independence or not. It definitely seems to be gaining support, but there are a lot of Scots who are Unionists (support a United Kingdom). It has seemed that 2010 was a target year for the referendum.

Naturally, most of the other parties are against independence and against putting forward a referendum. No party is more vocal about this than the Labour Party. Gordon Brown's a Unionist and head of the Labour Party, and he's said in no uncertain terms that he would never support a referendum. And this was Labour's official party line.

Enter Wendy Alexander, Labour's Scottish leader. In an attempt to call Salmond's bluff, she said, "Bring it on" to the referendum, and no time like the present. But you see, Salmond's not bluffing. He heads the Scottish Nationalist Party. Salmond is thrilled that suddenly he's got Labour's support for a referendum, even if the timing isn't quite right.

And wackiness ensues...

Tory leader David Cameron is now accusing Brown of losing control of his own party. Wendy Alexander is saying that a) the referendum won't pass now and b) she's got the support of Gordon Brown for this stunt, even while Gordon Brown tries to stay the fuck out of it. Meanwhile, Salmond's inviting Scottish Labour to join him for a lively eightsome reel, possibly to distract everyone from realizing that he really would like to hold off on the referendum for a couple years.

But how crazy would it be if Scottish Gordon Brown's legacy as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom was un-uniting the Kingdom and losing his native Scotland to independence? Would either the English or the Scottish let him live amongst them?

There's much more to this all, of course, and the Guardian and the Scotsman both have summaries that are a little hard to understand when I'm still getting my head around the delegate system of electing a presidential nominee within the Democratic Party of the United States of America.

You Don't Call, You Don't Write

An Antarctica seal was caught on film attempting to copulate with a king penguin.

"Oh, baby, you know just what papa likes... I'm tired..."

Scientists witnessing the event hypothesize that a) the seal was an inexperienced adolescent male who didn't really know what he was doing; b) it was a playful act that turned unexpectedly amorous; or c) it was a predatory act that turned unexpectedly amorous. Seals are apparently known to hunt the penguins.

Whatever the seal's intent, the BBC writes this gem:

After 45 minutes the seal... swam into the water and then completely ignored the bird it had just assaulted, the scientists report.

Well, that seal certainly behaves like an adolescent male.

The BBC also reports that the penguin was not harmed physically. There's a surprising lack of mention at the emotional fallout.

What Stood Out This Week - 4/27-5/3

If I didn't know better, I'd say Jeremiah Wright is running for president. Let's see What Stood Out This Week.

Republican

John McCain continues to sport a giant erection, thanks to Democratic Party in-fighting.

Democrats

Barack Obama defeated Hillary Clinton in today's Guam caucus by seven votes. Out of more than 4,500. Seven votes. Several dozen people who couldn't be bothered to vote today are kicking themselves. Imagine a voting process in which your vote really does count. That's just crazy. They split the delegates down the middle.

Big votes again on Tuesday in North Carolina and Indiana. Both should be close, and both will inevitably somehow encourage Hillary to stay in the race.

At this point, I defer to Dana, who's written two fine posts over at a blog you should check out in general, Art On My Mind. The first, earlier post, implores Hillary to stop treating us all like idiots in blistering terms I so admire. The second explains why we shouldn't despair too much about Obama's current position of threatened front-runner.

What else Stood Out This Week? Honestly, all I seem to hear about is Reverend Jeremiah Wright. I've seen and heard the clips, like everyone, and I don't get the hubbub. At worst it's mediocre comedy shtick (funnier than Dane Cook, though!): "White people clap like this, but black people clap like this!" And cue laugh track.

People feigning offense (most of the so-called "offended") should be called out on their bullshit. Those few people who are genuinely offended by Wright's routines and not just posturing should meditate, breathe, chew on some Quaaludes... Anything that'll help them fucking relax. Getting upset about this is a total waste of high blood pressure.

Look, white people who clap on one and three should be mocked. So get over your bad selves.

And that's What Stood Out This Week.

Lesbians Hate Lesbians

As most lesbians and Lesbians know, the poet Sappho lived on the isle of Lesbos and wrote beautifully celebrating the love between women. Women who love women embraced lesbian as their label, and now the Lesbians are fed up.

A Lesbian law suit against a Greek lesbian organization demands that the lesbians remove lesbian from their name. Dimitris Lambrou is one particularly angry Lesbian:

Lambrou said the word lesbian has only been linked with gay women in the past few decades. "But we have been Lesbians for thousands of years," said Lambrou, who publishes a small magazine on ancient Greek religion and technology that frequently criticizes the Christian Church.

He is also quoted as saying, "My sister can't say she's a Lesbian." Well, now, Lesbian Lambrou, there's no reason she can't call herself a Lesbian. There's a very clear distinction between Lesbians and lesbians. After all, one is capitalized.

Spread the love, Lesbians. What is the world coming to when Lesbians hate lesbians? After all, lesbians have a difficult enough time of things without hatred from Lesbians.

New Yorkers Are Fat

A couple of weeks ago, a court upheld a law that required chain restaurants to display their calorie counts in New York City stores. Apparently, half of New Yorkers are fat. So now when we go to McDonald's we can order the low-calorie item, whatever it may be. I don't know... Diet Coke?

Obviously, most of these restaurants are against posting such information on their displays, and they have until June 3 to comply before the fines start coming.

Chipotle and Starbucks have already posted their calorie counts. I tend to walk a couple of extra blocks for my afternoon coffee, rather than go to the Starbucks immediately across from my office. But today was a rainy, shitty day, and I was in a hurry to get back to the office for a meeting. (If I need another excuse, I'm sure I can come up with one.)

Anyway, it was the first time I saw the calorie postings. I tell you: that shit is effective. I mean, I wasn't going to get a snack anyway, but when I saw that their Crispy Rice Square (the Starbucks' equivalent to the Rice Krispy Treat) was 450 calories, it really made me not want to eat it even more.

I felt a lot thinner today having not eaten the Starbucks food. Then I had a crumpet with peanut butter and maple syrup for dessert tonight. Delicious.

Is It a Perfect Day? It Might Be.

Yesterday, I went to Shea with some colleagues and watched the Mets win yet again. I tell you, it's uncanny. I can no longer remember the Mets losing when I've been at the game. That's how long it's been. My streak has to be something like 16 games dating back three seasons or so.

A few years ago, during the Art Howe Black Hole Years, I had a Sunday ticket plan. All Sunday home games. That August, the Mets didn't win at home. So certainly I saw them lose. But it's been a long time now.

Carlos Delgado smacked two dingers and the Mets won 6-3 over the Braves.

Afterwards, we all went to Sripraphai, "the best Thai food outside of Thailand."* It's conveniently located right along the 7 train, and just a little ways from home. If you're a New York resident, go to this restaurant immediately. It'll knock your socks off. Anything on the menu. Just go and get food.

I guess this is mostly about baseball, so here's a pander to one specific reader who thinks that rubber ducks are really tasty.



*Quote comes via Virgil, who picked up the gem talking to a local Thai immigrant.

What Stood Out This Week - 4/20-4/26

Pennsylvania voted, and everything's the same. Let's see What Stood Out This Week.

Democrats

Pennsylvania voted, and everything's the same:

Republican

Pennsylvania voted, and everything's the same.

Although it should be noted that John McCain got 73% of the vote. That means 27% of Republican voters voted against the party's nominee (16% for Ron Paul, and 9% for Mike Huckabee). A rare good sign for the Democrats who are, as hard as possible, doing everything they can to fuck up what should be the easiest ever election to win.

That's right: the feckless Democrats are screwing it all up. But then...

Pennsylvania voted, and everything's the same.

And that's What Stood Out This Week!

Timing Is Everything

There's a little New York Times headline that simply says, "McCain criticizes Katrina response."

Well, I criticize your Katrina response, Herr McCain. Maybe if you'd said something back in September 2005, it would've made a goddamn difference, and fewer residents of New Orleans would've McCained the city they love.

Bad Advertising on NY1 - Koeppel Auto

We're a NY1 house in the morning. Local news. Weather reports every ten minutes. It's oddly compelling. When I first discovered NY1, oh so many years ago, I found it immediately comforting. New York TV's local ads are just as bad, if not worse, than local ads outside New York.

These ads are difficult to find online, so you'll just have to deal with a description.

Jackie Mason is a comedian popular with a certain subset of the New York population, or dare I call them, old Jews. I'm fairly certain that Jackie Mason's never actually made me laugh (but then I'm not old or Jewish), so he lives in my consciousness among "comedians who don't make me laugh." Dane Cook has lived at the top of that list for a couple of years.

Anyway, it's not so much that Jackie Mason's not funny to me that makes this such a terrible ad. It runs thusly:

Mr. Koeppel (from Koeppel Auto) approaches Jackie Mason, "wowed" that Jackie Mason's in his dealership. Koeppel offers an exchange: a car for two tickets to Jackie Mason's latest show. Jackie is at first thrilled, then offended, that someone would deem his show to be the same value as a car (I don't know if Koeppel sells new or used cars). Mr. Koeppel ups the offer with a pastrami sandwich and a pickle. They have a deal.

End of commercial. That's it.

No, I don't know what's in it for me, the potential customer. I don't understand the partnership. Mr. Koeppel comes off as less wowed or thrilled and more nervous and sweaty. Jackie Mason looks like he's got a half hour blocked out to do this shit, so let's get it over and done with.

And either Jackie Mason refused to do whatever the original script was, or Mr. Koeppel was so happy to have Jackie Mason agree to do an ad for him that he gave Jackie carte blanche. Probably even more likely is that Jackie Mason showed up, they improvised ten takes or so of slightly varying approaches, and then some editor was left to cobble together whatever made the most sense.

It's a bad ad. But at least it runs several times every morning.

What Stood Out This Week - 4/13-4/19

I'm a bit of a political junkie, as B&E readers well know, but even I'm getting burned out on this here election, especially when it's been so long since we've held a vote. I'm keeping an eye on things, of course, but I think maybe I'm suffering from Primary Fatigue. So let's see What Stood Out This Week...

The Republican

John McCain released his tax forms. He won't be releasing his wife's. After all, she's the real money in the family. That shit wouldn't have flown with Teresa Heinz Kerry. Actually, I don't really remember. Did that shit fly with THK? I think she released her tax records, but I don't know for sure. Good thing I'm writing about it! I've got all the answers!

The Democrats

Barack Obama turned in a crappy performance at the debate, and now the debate seems be more about the debate than the substance thereof. Which I guess is the point: There was very little substance in this debate. It was the only prime-time, network debate of the election thus far, and Charlie Gibson and George Stephanopolouponopolousponopoulous spent the first hour asking about stupid shit: Reverend Wright, comments about "bitter" voters, sniper fire in Bosnia, flag pins on the lapel (or lack thereof), elitism.

So Hillary did well in the debate, and Obama didn't. So Obama's all, "Hillary was right in her element in a debate of this style, and people are tired of it." And Hillary's all, "Clearly, I'm better prepared for the ugliness of a general election than that boy to my left." (OK, so really it was another person altogether who referred to Obama as "that boy," but why not throw it in there as part of it all?)

I will say this, though: Obama looked tired. Running for president would fucking blow chunks, dear B&E readers. I hope none of you have to go through it.

Emails from the campaigns are funny. Both grab onto a theme and try to raise money out of it...

Obama's all, "What's elite about the 1.3 million people who've given to our campaign? Let's make it 1.5 million!" Apparently I'm one of those 1.3 million already because I got the missus a shirt for Christmas. I mean, it was a gift purchase, not a donation.

Meanwhile, Hillary's all, "We're facing a candidate with an unlimited war chest. Even $5 can help make a difference in Pennsylvania!" Oh, Hillary, you scrappy underdog, you!

Polls, polls, polls, polls, polls polls polls. Man, there have been a lot of polls. Obama's catching up in Pennsylvania! Hillary's got the momentum! Obama can't beat McCain! Hillary never could! Obama's unelectable! Hillary's unelectable! Fuck polls. Why are we still putting so much stock in polls when they've proven to be so utterly wrong so many goddamn times?

Democratic National Committee chair Howard Dean is apparently starting to put pressure on the undecided superdelegates to get off the fence and commit to someone already because John McCain is getting a free ride while the two Democrats bicker over stupid shit.

There's finally a big goddamn vote on Tuesday in Pennsylvania. Will it decide anything? Probably not. There's still a lot of election yet, and Clintons don't quit. After Pennsylvania, there's North Carolina and Indiana. They're coming up relatively soon, I guess. But gosh, this election is getting tired.

And that's What Stood Out This Week. A lot of "tired."

Who IS that German Woman?

This morning I had the ever-reliable NY1 News on the boob-tube while I got ready for work. At one point, I heard this sultry voice, like Marlene Dietrich in Blue Angel. So I went out to investigate. Turns out, Pope Benedict sounds a lot like Marlene Dietrich.

Now, it has been implied in the comments section of this here site that I hate the Pope because he prefers Yankee Stadium. Hell, I prefer Yankee Stadium, just not the team that plays there.

The truth is I have very little opinion of the new Pope. Pope John Paul II was the only Pope I knew until he passed away, and even though I disagreed with him about several issues, I thought he was an impressive man.

I'm not a Catholic, and this is a new Pope, and there could very well be all sorts of perfectly understandable reasons for my feelings here, but I just don't see people as connected with this Pope as the last. Maybe he just needs time. But he somehow lacks that certain something I got used to seeing with JP2.

A colleague of mine put it best, perhaps, when during our discussion, she quipped, "He's like a rebound Pope."