Me Likey the Mets Money

In what might be becoming an annual tradition, Ma got me some Mets Money for Christmas. Use it like cash anywhere at Shea Stadium! Thanks again, Ma!

A few weeks ago I "won" a lottery giving me the opportunity to buy tickets to the Mets home opener (the second-to-last home opener at Shea Stadium). So I scheduled a day off from work and lined my pockets with Mets Money, waiting for the moment to arrive. It was this past Monday.

The game was great, etc. Come-from-behind victory and lots of booing on Jimmy Rollins' head. Exciting.

But e'en more exciting was that I used some Mets Money to buy myself my first-ever properly-licensed, not-given-out-for-free-at-the-stadium Mets cap. It was 40-degrees at game time, so I was wearing my pirated knit Mets stocking cap, and the freebie FoxSports Met cap has been long ruined by my sweaty tendencies.

Inside my souvenir stand MasterCard-sponsored gift bag, however, was the most exciting purchase I've ever made at Shea (and more exciting than the Carvel ice cream in souvenir mini-helmet is pretty goddamned exciting): The Official Mets Batting Practice Cap.

I've tried to buy Mets caps before. But the official caps have always been too square for my head. They look absolutely ridiculous on me. As you can see, this Official Mets Batting Practice Cap has a rounded top. It lays nicely over my bald dome.

Plus, the Official Mets Batting Practice Cap is kind of tacky. Note the orange racing stripe and the black stretchy material above the ear. It gives it a sort of NASCAR feel. Most of the other people wearing this cap at Shea on opening day were giant Italian dudes. I like fitting in with the giant Italian dudes.

During spring training I read an article about how some of the players hate the newly designed Official Mets Batting Practice Caps. This is another reason I like it. It's controversial. Like Imus only not racist.

But perhaps the biggest reason to love my Official Mets Batting Practice Cap is its technology. It wicks sweat away from one's head. As I mentioned, it was sweat that ruined my freebie cap. I'm a sweater. No denying it. It might be snowing at the beginning of this baseball season, but eventually, it will be nearly 100-degrees, and I'm gonna need help keeping my poor, bald head dry. My white-trash Official Mets Batting Practice Cap will do that for me.

I wear a cap of some sort every day (I have to protect my tender scalp from the sun during my walk across the Brooklyn Bridge). And I've been working at the new job since the end of September. In the cooler weather, I've been wearing a Scottish tartan wool golfing cap or a stocking cap to protect my ears.

So yesterday, when I put on my Official Mets Batting Practice Cap to leave for the day, the response I got from coworkers was, "You don't wear baseball caps!"

Oh, colleagues. I don't just wear baseball caps. I wear the Official Mets Batting Practice Cap.