Git Yer Paws Off Our First Lady, Lady!

It was totally inappropriate the way Queen Elizabeth groped Michelle Obama at Buckingham Palace.

I don't know what sense of entitlement you have, old woman, but that there is our First Lady. She is not to be groped, stroked, embraced, pushed, fondled, cupped, manhandled, or, indeed, queen-handled.

You may recall a little thing we call the Revolutionary War. Perhaps you refer to it as the Colonist Uprising or the New World Rebellion. Because we kicked your red-coated ass right out of our country, you can't just get all grabby with Michelle Obama like that.

You do not rule over our First Lady's ass.