Reason #89 to Avoid Nightclubs

I never go to nightclubs in New York City. I have many reasons for avoiding them. A few at the top include the following:

- I don't much care for dancing.
- I tend to dislike crowds.
- I'm just not that into ecstasy and crystal meth.

There are other, smaller reasons as well:

- The bouncer probably wouldn't let me in.
- The pumping techno gives me headaches.
- Slutty, sweaty crowds are a Petri dish for syphilis.

So those are really just tip-of-the-iceberg reasons I avoid nightclubs. But thanks to Plaxico Burress, wide receiver of the New York Giants, I've got one more to add to the list...

I don't want to shoot myself in the leg.

I'm not sure that this is required behavior at a Manhattan hot spot, but I'm not taking any chances.

A Day for Thanks

Ah, Thanksgiving...

After less than twenty minutes of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, the missus and I opted to get the hell out of the apartment and go see the morning screening of Quantum of Solace. We chose it over Four Christmases mostly because we felt that James Bond really deserves to be seen on the big screen.

It was, like most James Bond films, good enough. We left feeling satisfied. And it was essentially a private screening, since we were the only people in the theater (until about three-quarters of the way through it, when a solitary dude third-acted it).

We went out for our Thanksgiving meal. Once we knew it was just going to be the two of us, we sure didn't want to make any kind of major effort and create a giant mess in our kitchen. So we went to Telepan, near Lincoln Center. It was delicious. I also ate the first real dessert I've had in nearly a month, so I savored the shit out of it. Their pumpkin bread pudding in whiskey sauce with pumpkin ice cream was particularly good. Now I'm off sugar again until Christmas. (Ma, I hope you've got grand plans for dessert at Christmas.)

Fully stuffed, we opted against going out for movie #2 and instead came home to watch one of those Netflix movies that lingers in your home for far too long. In this case, it was Young @ Heart, the documentary about old people singing rock music. See it. If you get through Fred's rendition of Coldplay's "Fix You" without crying, you've got no soul.

Yes, B&E readers, it was a lovely day with the lovely missus, who I remain ever thankful for.

Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade - Final Thoughts

So the Parade is still on in the background while we get ready to go to the movies, and we just caught "Nothin' Like a Dame." One of these days, I'd like to see a rendition of that song that isn't sung by raging queens.

OK, now I'm really done.

Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade - High energy!

We're off to a cheertacular start with about a million cheerleaders doing a routine to a fucked up techno mix of classic hits and other songs I've never heard before. Girls flipping in the background, shit-eating grins in the foreground.

And even the ads are Macy's.

The voice-over announcer keeps promoting an appearance by Miley Cyrus. I have a feeling she won't appear for another two-and-a-half hours.

Snoopy flew behind Al Roker. Selma Blair is very happy about that.

We're twelve minutes into this thing.

Yeah, I'm done. The missus and I are going to an early show at the movies. James Bond or Four Christmases? I guess we'll decide once we get there.

Thanks for enjoying the B&E live blog of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade!

Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade - Live Blog!

Oh, B&E readers, have I got a treat for you today! Thanksgiving Day Parade! Excuse me... the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade! It sucks every year! How hard will it suck this year?

So far so awful! Matt, Meredith, and Roker are irritatingly chipper!

The ribbon's cut, and they're off! They're reading the special guest stars and I'm already exhausted. Fuck me.

Stay tuned!

Gimme a Breather, You Bastard

It hasn't even been three weeks since the B&E election feature What Stood Out This Week came to its logical and happy conclusion, and fucking Bobby Jindal is trying to make me start it up again.

Oh, excuse me. That's Mr. Fucking Governor Bobby Jindal to me. He went to Iowa to speak at a fundraiser for a conservative Iowa group. Dude. Seriously. Dude.

It's four years before we vote for president again, and if I have to start this feature again more than two years before that day, I'm gonna need to up my blood pressure medication one or two bumps.

I mean, really, Mr. Fucking Governor Bobby Jindal. The most recently elected presidential candidate hasn't even taken office yet, so if you could ease up just a little bit, that would be terrific.

And anyway, don't you still have a city to rebuild? What the hell is the matter with you?

Heh. They Said, "Huge Package."

You really gotta love the many rumors flying in anticipation of an Obama Administration. Who's in what cabinet position? Will Hillary play nice?

The big stories and rumors have mostly to do with the economic meltdown, of course. And my favorite rumor to date is that Obama's planning a much larger stimulus package than what was ever mentioned during the campaign. Yes, this is an idea I'm quite keen on.

Democrats made the rounds on the Sunday Shows talking about how we need a huge package.

And let's face it: no one knows the need for a huge package more than the balls-free Democratic Party. So all this talk of cojones is very welcome from a Party that had the tiniest package ever when it came to standing up to the Bush Administration.

I tell you what: if Obama is bold and ballsy, he could end up the Greatest President Ever.

Let's hear it for a huge package!

It's a Good Use for the Money

For a mere $400 million Citigroup bought the naming rights to the Mets' new stadium for the next 20 years.

Well, after being hit by $65 billion in losses, Citigroup appears to be the next in line for a governmental bailout.

But hey, no worries: even with the missing billions, Citigroup is going to hold onto its massive name and sponsorship deal with the Mets. I mean, hell, Citigroup doesn't have $65,000,000,000; so it's not like they're going to have $65,400,000,000.

Citigroup will almost certainly get its bailout. That Robert Rubin placement within the Obama transition team must feel like a pretty good insurance policy.

But let's get to the important stuff. Can the government bail out the disaster that has been the Mets recent late-season meltdowns? Maybe if the US Government owns Citigroup and the naming rights to the stadium, they'll give it the name it should've had all along: Jackie Robinson Field.

Or hell, what about a name referencing another racial barrier that's being broken these days? Barack Obama Field!

Hope, Change, Mets! Hope, Change, Mets! Hope, Change, Mets!

Get Your Fucking Head in There! Ooooh! TV!

I'm completely fascinated by this video that's been out and about for a couple of days now. And I'm sure it's all over-linked to and over-commented upon. But I've watched it several times now, and it's really mesmerizing.

Be sure to watch at least until the guy comes back with the second turkey.



The chipper attitude, the Starbucks cup, the "Oh, I'm sure they'll find something to criticize with this interview, too" attitude. It's a video that works on many levels.

But I'd like to give a special shout-out to the cameraman - nay, cinematographer - for his brilliant framing of the shot. And other shout-out to a buddy who gave this video the title, "Turkeys slaughtered in background while English slaughtered in foreground."

Man, I can't wait for Thanksgiving. I love turkey.

The Amiable Wackjob

Mike Huckabee is so affable. He's friendly and funny and he made funny commercials with Chuck Norris.

Earlier this week, on my favorite TV show of all time (The View, of course), the Huckster was talking about gay marriage. And what he said at one point was totally true: some people will never see eye-to-eye on the issue.

But he went on to say that the reason gays don't qualify for individual civil rights protection is because they haven't been the victims of violence the way that black people were during the civil rights movement.

First of all, it's apples and oranges (or rather, blacks and gays). You start getting into sticky territory when you compare one oppressed group with another oppressed group, or one mass genocide to another mass genocide, or any current leader to Hitler.

And anyway, Reverend Governor Huckabee, you affable bigot, gay people get beaten and killed all the time. Matthew Shepard? Harvey Milk? And those are just a couple of famous ones.

So tell us, Mr. Pro-Life: how many gay people need to die before they're finally oppressed enough to need protection under the law? What level of violence is acceptable to you, Christian Leader, before gay people reach the threshold you're looking for?

Beware the amiable wackjob!

Focus on the Screwing of Families

I'd like to offer my special congratulations (topped with a long, gnarly middle finger) to James Dobson and Focus on the Family.

Shortly after spending $500,000 to screw gay families in California (that would be Proposition 8 support), Focus on the Family has announced that they'll lay off more than 200 people, thereby screwing families who presumably supported screwing the gay families. (But you know, not screwing them in the dirty way.)

It's nice that Focus on the Family is focused on screwing all families.

Oh, Dobson, you Dickhead.

Man, But I Do Love a Knuckleball

A five-foot, hundred fifteen pound 16-year-old pitcher has become the first woman drafted to play professional baseball in Japan with men. Eri Yoshida's secret? A wicked, side-arm knuckleball.

More pitchers should throw a knuckleball. It keeps catchers on their toes, it goes wherever it wants to, and when it fails to flail, it gets hit and hit hard. It's the perfect recipe for a fantastic baseball game.

I want Yoshida to pitch for the Mets. I really do. Someone get on the horn with Omar Minaya.

It's Almost Like They're Human

So the missus and I watched the Obamas on 60 Minutes last night.

When was the last time the First Couple - or indeed any political couple - seemed to have genuine chemistry and a sincere affection for one another. They had banter, they teased each other, they cracked each other up, they contradicted one another.

They were like real people with real feelings.

Will this make Barack Obama a better president? Goddammit, I think it might. How can being grounded by a loving family not help you succeed?

Death to the Arts!

So I had occasion to peruse the National Endowment for the Arts website the other day, and was drawn to a bit of curiousness.

At the bottom of their donation page (apparently government organizations can accept tax-deductible donations from the public), it reads thusly:

Please note that mail sent to the Arts Endowment is frequently delayed due to security screening procedures, including irradiation. If you mail a contribution, please allow 3-4 weeks for a response.

Really? Irradiation? Are we afraid that terrorists are going to bomb/anthrax the National Endowment for the Arts? "Death to the Arts in America!"?

Look, terrorists. This is America. We're killing the arts just fine without your help, thank you very much.

It's a Twister! It's a Twister!

As coincidence would have it, The Wizard of Oz was on the boob tube in our home last night. Actually, there's no coincidence in that last statement. The coincidence is that twenty years ago today, my high school was hit by a tornado, and that TBS is coincidentally playing The Wizard of Oz to unwittingly celebrate the anniversary.

A tornado hit the town of Topeka in 1966 and demolished much of downtown. The city installed citywide tornado alarms that are still tested every Monday at noon (unless there's a chance of tornado, in which case they cancel the test so no one gets confused).

By 1988, Topekans had gotten pretty relaxed again. Yes, we had our regular tornado drills at school, but mostly it was a chance to smoke or take advantage of a longer open lunch period.

On that day, between fifth and sixth hour, the sky was yellowish-green, a key indicator of tornado weather. I was walking with my scene partner, and we weren't remotely prepared to do our scene in class. I said, "Hey, maybe a tornado will hit, and we won't have to do it!"

About ten minutes into class, the power went out, the winds picked up severely, and a queen-sized mattress flew by the window, which isn't something you see every day. Then it was calm again, but the power stayed out.

A hall monitor came in, "That was a tornado; take your positions." We did. In this particular building, it meant lining up against the lockers.

No alarm ever went off (they were supposed to be on generator but weren't). We heard rumors of another tornado on the way, so we were all told to make our way to the library basement. When we got there, we were turned away: no room. So we went to the cafeteria basement: no room. By this point, the sun was out, and the danger clearly over. So I went to my car.

This particular tornado was a bouncer, and although it had skipped over my classroom, it demolished the front parking lot where, as fate would have it, all the teachers and poorer kids parked. Good times. There was minimal damage to the school - a few shattered windows and a couple of temporary trailer classrooms roofs were ripped off - and no injuries, miraculously.

Dude. That shit was 20 years ago. I'm fucking old.

Reading That's Good For You

It's been about ten days since the electorate chose Barack Obama as its next president, and during that time, there have been numerous occasions when I've been moved all over again at everything from the symbolism to the actuality of the meaning of an Obama Administration.

One such occasion was when Amy Goodman hosted Alice Walker on her Democracy Now! program. Walker read her open letter to Barack Obama:

Dear Brother Obama,

You have no idea, really, of how profound this moment is for us. Us being the black people of the Southern United States. You think you know, because you are thoughtful, and you have studied our history. But seeing you deliver the torch so many others before you carried, year after year, decade after decade, century after century, only to be struck down before igniting the flame of justice and of law, is almost more than the heart can bear. And yet, this observation is not intended to burden you, for you are of a different time, and, indeed, because of all the relay runners before you, North America is a different place. It is really only to say: Well done. We knew, through all the generations, that you were with us, in us, the best of the spirit of Africa and of the Americas. Knowing this, that you would actually appear, someday, was part of our strength. Seeing you take your rightful place, based solely on your wisdom, stamina and character, is a balm for the weary warriors of hope, previously only sung about.

I would advise you to remember that you did not create the disaster that the world is experiencing, and you alone are not responsible for bringing the world back to balance. A primary responsibility that you do have, however, is to cultivate happiness in your own life. To make a schedule that permits sufficient time of rest and play with your gorgeous wife and lovely daughters. And so on. One gathers that your family is large. We are used to seeing men in the White House soon become juiceless and as white-haired as the building; we notice their wives and children looking strained and stressed. They soon have smiles so lacking in joy that they remind us of scissors. This is no way to lead. Nor does your family deserve this fate. One way of thinking about all this is: It is so bad now that there is no excuse not to relax. From your happy, relaxed state, you can model real success, which is all that so many people in the world really want. They may buy endless cars and houses and furs and gobble up all the attention and space they can manage, or barely manage, but this is because it is not yet clear to them that success is truly an inside job. That it is within the reach of almost everyone.

I would further advise you not to take on other people's enemies. Most damage that others do to us is out of fear, humiliation and pain. Those feelings occur in all of us, not just in those of us who profess a certain religious or racial devotion. We must learn actually not to have enemies, but only confused adversaries who are ourselves in disguise. It is understood by all that you are commander in chief of the United States and are sworn to protect our beloved country; this we understand, completely. However, as my mother used to say, quoting a Bible with which I often fought, "hate the sin, but love the sinner." There must be no more crushing of whole communities, no more torture, no more dehumanizing as a means of ruling a people's spirit. This has already happened to people of color, poor people, women, children. We see where this leads, where it has led.

A good model of how to "work with the enemy" internally is presented by the Dalai Lama, in his endless caretaking of his soul as he confronts the Chinese government that invaded Tibet. Because, finally, it is the soul that must be preserved, if one is to remain a credible leader. All else might be lost; but when the soul dies, the connection to earth, to peoples, to animals, to rivers, to mountain ranges, purple and majestic, also dies. And your smile, with which we watch you do gracious battle with unjust characterizations, distortions and lies, is that expression of healthy self-worth, spirit and soul, that, kept happy and free and relaxed, can find an answering smile in all of us, lighting our way, and brightening the world.

We are the ones we have been waiting for.

In Peace and Joy, Alice Walker

You can also watch her appearance here. There's a pretty good introduction from a Uruguayan writer who reminds Obama to remember that the White House was built by slaves. It begins about eleven minutes into the video.

You Know What? Screw the Children, Too.

I know we've got a real "fuck 'em" attitude toward the incarcerated in this country. And I'm not one to try to understand law, lawyers, judges, or sentencing. But this sentence of Nixzaliz Santiago, a.k.a. the mother of Nixzmary Brown, sounds downright counterproductive to me.

What happened to that little girl was truly horrible, and you won't find me defending the terrible violence. (In case those readers outside of NYC haven't heard about the case itself, the short version is that a 7-year-old girl lived a life akin to torture, primarily at the hands of her stepfather Cesar Rodriguez, until she was finally beaten to death. Rodriguez dealt the final blow, and Santiago did nothing. Yes, truly horrible.)

Santiago's defense centered at least partially around that she too was a victim of Rodriguez's violence, which tends to be a rationale I believe. This judge and jury didn't, and they gave Santiago more years in prison than Rodriguez. But even this isn't even my biggest problem here.

As long as Santiago is in prison, she's not allowed to see her other children. Her children can't visit her for 43 years. This is a punishment for her children as much as it's a punishment for her. Why should her children be denied what little love their mother might be able to provide from prison?

And if we accept that the purpose of prison is rehabilitation, how is cutting Santiago off from the love children offer going to help that process?

I mean, really, I'm cynical. But our prison system is utterly lacking in hope, if not downright destructive and nihilistic.

What Other Elections?

Believe it or not, there was at least one other election around the world in the past few weeks. Scotland featured a special by-election for a seat to Parliament.

As I've discussed before, UK Prime Minister (and Scotsman) Gordon Brown has been having a hell of a time running the country since Tony Blair left office with a pantsful of shame (that whole Iraq War thing really didn't go down well with the electorate). The Labour Party has been in hell, much to the pleasure of the Tories nationwide.

But the Tories really don't do well in left-leaning Scotland, so Labour's demise has been the Scottish Nationalist Party's gain. And recently, the SNPs have been winning in elections that just a few months earlier they'd have never been considered contenders.

Well, B&E readers, the economic crisis can upend politics in the UK, too, it appears. Gordon Brown is a bit of a wonky economist, and of any world leader, he's been hailed as one that's taken some of the boldest action. Now, I don't know enough about economics or about what he's done exactly to know if his bold action truly is brilliant or it just seems brilliant, but either way, Gordo's experiencing a bit of a renaissance at the moment.

And he's got his first electoral win to prove it. In the recent special by-election in Glenrothes, the SNP candidate was predicted to defeat the Labour candidate, who happens to be the headmaster at Gordon Brown's old school. Brown, with his sudden surge in popularity, actually campaigned for the man, something that would've been certain death to any Labour politician in Scotland a few months ago.

Lindsay Roy won the Glenrothes seat. This is perhaps particularly significant because Roy's district borders Gordon Brown's. It was close, and the SNPs did better there than ever, but the economic collapse may just be causing Scotland's populace to go back home to the political party they know.

You better believe that the missus and I will be keeping our eyes on these developments.

Howard Dean Goes Out on a High Note

And no, I'm not talking about another screaming high note...

I was an early Dean supporter back in 2003 when, like so many Democratic primary voters, I was looking for a candidate who wasn't completely feckless, i.e. didn't support the Iraq War.

It was fun getting excited about a candidate early in the process. The famous Dean Scream after his third-place finish in Iowa actually made me like him more, even as I saw it as a gaffe he would not recover from.

Rather than fade away, however, Dean took that network he built (the successful precursor to the Obama organizing effort), and parlayed it into the chairmanship of the Democratic National Committee.

(Back in June, I discussed all of this, his Fifty-State Strategy, and Obama's primary win and support of Dean as validation of his approach to grassroots organizing and the future of the party.)

Dean always said he'd only serve one term. And today, he made good on that promise and resigned, even though many people (including many who a couple years ago wanted to see him go) wanted him to serve another.

But he doesn't have to stay because his theory that seemed like a no-brainer to us non-politicos but was widely ridiculed by insiders in 2004 is now conventional wisdom. His Fifty-State Strategy is partially credited with winning this election. Virginia? North Carolina? Indiana? These are not states that have historically voted Democratic. But Dean built the infrastructure, and the Obama campaign made it enormous and effective.

So I offer a fond farewell to Howard Dean, outgoing Chairman of the Democratic National Committee. He brought some brass balls to the party during a very dark time indeed. And let's face it: the Democratic Party needed some brass balls.

The Party still has its feckless impulses, but perhaps with Dean's groundwork and Obama's leadership, those impulses will give way to one giant pair of progressive bollocks.

Saving Themselves for Marriage

I saw something about Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon waiting to have sex until they were married, which, I don't know, might explain why they didn't wait to get married.

Yeah, We Might, George Stephanopolopoloupolus

This morning on George Stephanoploupoloulopoulus' round table, they were discussing potential Treasury Secretary Lawrence Summers. I waited for someone - anyone - to discuss how as Treasury Secretary under Clinton, Summers had a lot to do with deregulation in the late 1990s.

All four members of the round table spoke of Summers as a positive choice. They didn't defend what he said about ladies (cute as they are) not understanding science the way that men do, but they dismissed it as a stupid hangup by critics.

OK, maybe, but what about this whole deregulation thing he oversaw as Treasury Secretary. No one said anything, until George Stephanopolopolouloupoulus, in the process of changing the discussion topic said something offhandedly like, "Some liberal Democrats might ask tough questions about deregulation."

Yeah, we might. And everyone should, no? Other than the right-wing racists who want to blame the housing crisis on ACORN and the poor black people with mortgages, hasn't pretty much every economist worth just about anything cited deregulation as the primary cause of our current economic meltdown? I mean, hell, even Alan Greenspan had a "Well, who knew that greed would keep people from protecting these corporations?" mea culpa.

Lawrence Summers might be the smartest man on earth, and I'm sure he understands many things about economics I never will. But he was also desperately wrong in the late 1990s. If he's renamed Treasury Secretary, it'll be like Bill Kristol, the pundit most wrong about just about everything he's ever said on television, continuing to get punditry and editorial jobs.

Shit. Lawrence Summers is totally gonna be Secretary of the Treasury.

Anyway, George Stephanopoloupolupolupous, I was very disappointed that you didn't have a voice on your round table who was willing to point out that Summers was so catastrophically wrong in the 1990s.

But then there's Robert Reich, who had a fine little ditty on TPM today. In the article he discusses what he sees as the best remedy for getting us out of our economic funk. And he does a nice job of explaining some basic ideas in terms economic dolts like myself can understand.

As Reich says, he's one of those economic advisers working with the Obama transition team, but I sure hope that his need to publish his thoughts doesn't indicate that his point of view is getting overshadowed in the private sessions.

That First Press Conference

Because I'd taken the day off on Friday, I was able to catch President-Elect (!) Barack Obama's first press conference. He was, perhaps, not terribly relaxed to begin with, but even at his tightest, it was remarkably easy to watch, especially when you consider just how cringe-inducing presidential press conferences have been for the past eight years.

I can't remember the last presidential press conference that left me as relaxed as when it started. Golly, it's refreshing.

What Stood Out This Week - 11/2-11/8

President-Elect Barack Obama

And so this feature on B&E endeth. Finally.

Let's Pull Him Leftward

I tend to think that Barack Obama honest-to-god wants to "reach across the aisle" and find common ground with Republicans in Congress when he can. This move will, of course, disappoint the left, which would love to see a full-on progressive movement take shape from the top.

Well, it's going to be up to that giant group of left-leaning small donors to push him there, as is already becoming clear.

Rahm Emanuel is a tenacious fighter and, as Chief of Staff, will serve as an effective bad cop to Obama's good one. But let's not forget that he was also a member of the Clinton White House, which pushed the entire Democratic Party to the right. And Rahm was a big part of that. I for one hope that Rahm Israel Emanuel (also a good moniker balance to Barack Hussein Obama) taps into his Sarah Lawrence College roots, slips back into his dance tights, and gets reacquainted with his deeply left-leaning liberal arts education.

Also of concern is the prominence of Robert Rubin and Lawrence Summers on Obama's economic team. These two free-marketeers also served the Clinton administration and are about as responsible as anyone for the total lack of regulation on Wall Street. Let's hope that Obama gives more weight to economic minds like Robert Reich's instead. And if someone could convince Barack Obama to use his impressive oratory skills to lure Paul Krugman away from his Nobel Prize in Economics to serve as Secretary of the Treasury, I'd be a happy, happy man.

Obama is a pragmatist more than anything. He will want to get things done. And it will be up to those millions of small donors to hold him accountable to the movement that elected him.

He won, but this thing ain't over.

Guest Post - Baldy in a Battleground - Episode 14

Baldy in A Blue State

I cannot describe the feeling here last night. Tears were shed, so many tears, and I think we're all stunned today. Messages have been pouring in from my volunteers. Everyone is asking to be pinched. Can this be real? Tears of joy on the day after election day - some of us have never known the feeling.

We've been working to get out the vote here officially since Wednesday the 29th. After seven full 18+ hour days, it finally paid off. My precincts were reporting at 65%, excluding early votes, before 11am yesterday. Unbelievable.

One of my volunteers knocked on the door of an 81-year-old woman who proudly answered the door with her "I Voted Today" sticker on her blouse and announced that for the first time in her life she had voted. The undeniable force that is Barack Obama motivated her to exercise her right to have her voice heard.

Another of my volunteers knocked on a door that was answered by an 18-year-old man. He'd turned 18 shortly before the deadline to register to vote, but didn't have a way to the polls. Fifteen minutes before the polls closed, this young man was driven to the polls to cast the first vote of his life, for Barack Obama.

I am humbled and honored to have been here on the ground to witness history. Ordinary citizens are capable of extraordinary things. Together, yes we can. And boy, did we.

And now, sleep. Yes, I will.

One Other Thing

Nate Silver is a goddamned genius. The only projection he missed slightly was Indiana. FiveThirtyEight.com has been a bit of a salvation of mine for lo, these past few weeks, and I would turn to him when I needed a jolt of optimism. Well done, good sir. And seriously, compare his projected map with the final one. It's uncanny.

Another example of baseball being good for something. (For those of you that don't know, Nate is a baseball statistician who turned what he knew about baseball stats into political stats, using complex mathematical formulas to predict outcomes based on various polling data. I'd say that, other than Obama, Nate was probably the big winner of the 2008 election.)

Here's the Bad News

That Barack Obama will be our 44th president is the top story, of course, and it should be. Here are a few downers to temper the enthusiasm. After all, I wouldn't be me without a little tempered enthusiasm...

In Alaska, convicted felon Ted Stevens appears to have been reelected to the Senate. And the almost equally corrupt Don Young was reelected to the House. As TPM put it: Maybe he's been judging Sarah Palin too harshly. In this context of Alaskan politicians she really is a reformer.

In Minnesota, the ghost of Joe McCarthy, aka Michele Bachmann, appears to have won a squeaker for reelection to the House.

Also in Minnesota, Dickhead Norm Coleman has declared victory in his Senate race against Al Franken. The margin of victory requires an automatic recount, and Franken hasn't conceded.

In Kentucky, Mitch McConnell held onto his Senate seat.

The people of Arizona and Florida definitely hate gay people, and it looks like a majority of Californians do too. How do say you hate gay people in an acceptable way? You don't let them marry! Well done, you homophobic bigots.

Our Next President

As the missus and I (and a couple of friends) watched returns last night, I was mostly just stunned, as Pennsylvania went to Obama, then Ohio, then Virginia. I just kept shaking my head, teetering on the edge of tears as the sheer weight of the historic moment swept over me.

Well, I teetered, that is, until this image came up at the end of Obama's speech, and then the tears flowed freely.


This concept of being moved by the outcome of an election is totally foreign to me. Honest to god, I think the last time I was unabashedly thrilled by the election of a president, I was four-years-old, and Jimmy Carter had just beaten Gerald Ford.

Even after twelve years of Reagan and Bush I, when Clinton was elected, I didn't feel this way. He hadn't really won me over, and even though I voted for Clinton in '92, I did so unenthusiastically.

This is most certainly different. Jesus Christ: Am I actually feeling hope?

How the fuck did he do that?

Voting Day in Queens

So the missus and I got up, and before we did anything else (yes, even you, coffee), we went to vote. We live across the street from our polling place, and we got there a couple of minutes before 6:00am.

There was a line! A long line! Around-the-block long! It was like Best Buy on Black Friday! A ticket booth for a Van Halen concert! Toilet paper handouts in the Soviet Union!

Usually when I vote in my precinct, the old ladies (always old and always ladies) complain about the small turnout. Today, my favorite poll worker was clearly getting panicked by the long lines and kept peeking into the curtain to make sure everyone was getting along OK in the machines. Well, Old Lady, that's probably not protocol.

Today also featured the Oldest Lady I've Ever Seen in Person. She was the Republican representative. There just aren't many Republicans in Queens, so she's probably the youngest volunteer they could find to offer balance at the polls. But man, the Oldest Lady I've Ever Seen in Person was very old. Her penmanship, however (she was the one writing voter names on official voting cards), was stellar. Not like the $2 check I once got from my Great Aunt Ruth, with her very cute, very shaky handwriting.

Even with the long lines, voters looked happy. Everyone seemed pleased to see the turnout, and voters in line smiled at me because I was probably smiling without even realizing it.

Why was I smiling? I just voted for a black dude for president! A black dude! President!

Guest Post - Baldy in a Battleground - Episode 13

Voter Suppression! (Fancy Campaign-Speak for "Stealing the Election")

So, yesterday, one of my vols (snazzy campaign-speak for "volunteers") went down to monitor the lines at our early voting location. People have been waiting up to three hours to vote, and we sent people down to encourage would-be voters to stay in line. We offered doughnuts, sandwiches, and personal audiences with Obama. What, did we go too far?

According to my vol, county election officials and poll workers told would-be voters waiting in the line that if they were not up to a certain point in the line by a certain time, they'd have to leave and come back another day to vote. This, even though by law, anybody in line by the time the polls close gets to vote.

Horseshit! (Groovy campaign-speak for "horseshit!")

Hasta la victoria, siempre! (Posh campaign-speak for "We're commies!")

Obama on Row E

I guess I'd be surprised if my readers, especially my New York-based readers, aren't voting Obama.

Here in New York, we've got "fusion" voting. The so-called third parties (Working Families, Independent, Liberal, Conservative, and other) can endorse candidates, and voters can then vote for their preferred candidate under the party of their choice.

As I've stated before, I'm a registered Democrat just so I can vote in Democratic primaries. But in general, I won't call myself a Democrat because, really, who wants to be associated with such a feckless bunch of corporate ninnies?

But thanks to fusion voting, Barack Obama is appearing on both the Democratic line and the Working Families line (possibly others, too, but I'm not sure).

Working Families is a progressive party that's much closer aligned to my general political beliefs (if Obama's a socialist, I guess I'd be a communist). By voting for Obama on the Working Families line, your vote still counts for Obama (no spoilers!), but it also has the power to demonstrate the strength of the progressive movement.

Particularly on the local level, Democratic politicians strive for the endorsement of the Working Families party and are therefore a bit further left-leaning than your typical national Democratic Party politicos.

So, New Yorkers! If you're progressive and you want to vote Obama, he'll be appearing under the Democratic Party on Row B and under the Working Families Party on Row E. Don't fear the Row E, dear B&E readers. It's just the first little push from the left that Obama'll probably need from time to time once he's our president.

Yes, I'm feeling optimistic on this Sunday morning. Or was, until I (just now) started thinking about how many ways the Republican Party can still fucking steal this thing.

What Stood Out This Week - 10/26-11/1

It's all a blur, B&E readers, but let's see What Stood Out This Week...

The Democrat

Barack Obama spent a bajillion dollars for a half hour of air time on CBS, NBC, Fox, and a number of cable networks. ABC showed Pushing Daisies. Who the hell knows if it worked?

Other than that, Obama's been spending a lot of time in traditionally Republican-held swing states, trying to bring them over into the "blue" column. He's also bought a lot of air time in Arizona and Georgia. I tell you what: if he's seriously competing in those states, McCain's in trouble, although apparently the McCain campaign is spinning that as a sign of desperation, that Obama's support is maxed out in other areas and therefore needs to win these states. Good luck with that, Tucker Bounds.

The Republican

Yeah, so, it's been a kitchen sink week. Every accusation in the book is getting thrown Obama's way now. McCain's been in all the same swing states claiming that he's got Obama right where he wants him.

But you know, McCain's a Navy guy, so maybe this is his John Paul Jones "I have not yet begun to fight" moment. Of course, what many people may not remember about the John Paul Jones "I have not yet begun to fight" moment is that although JPJ did win the battle, his ship also did in fact sink.

So what am I saying? Who knows? John McCain could well pull out a victory and win the presidency but sink the country along with it? Hey, if that's how you want to interpret it...

And Sarah Palin proved she's an idiot again, claiming that criticizing her campaign style somehow infringes upon her first amendment rights. For a clear and brief overview of why this is stupid (and boy, is it stupid), check out Friday's blurb on Titivil (link to the right).

And that's What Stood Out This Week, dear B&E readers. I wonder what will Stand Out Next Week. Three fucking days, people. Three fucking days.