So...

I'm back from a long weekend, B&E readers. It's almost like life just continues when I'm out of town. What'd I miss?

The Food at Bailout Ballfield

The menu at the Mets new stadium has been announced. Yes, they'll still have hot dogs and pretzels. But they'll also have Danny Meyer. That's right: the restaurateur who brought us Gramercy Tavern and Union Square Cafe will be feeding the masses at Bailout Ballfield.

I'd be concerned that the Mets were getting all hoity-toity on our blue and orange asses, except that Danny's done some fare in the realm of "ballpark appropriate" as well. Blue Smoke makes a mean barbecue, and the Shake Shack is all about the burgers and fries. Oh, and shakes.

Danny claims to be a big baseball fan, so in addition to his Shake Shack menu, he's making food he would want to eat while at a ballgame: pulled pork sandwich on a brioche roll, steamed corn on the cob with a dusting of a fancy-pants cheese I've never heard of, kosher "dog bites," and a few other things that sound mighty fine to this middle-class palate.

He will, of course, also be running the club restaurant that people like me don't get into.

Food was just one of the many complaints about Shea Stadium (may it rest in peace). And I'm glad that Danny has seemingly appeared to keep his audience in mind. Mets fans want their meat. Their beleaguered wives may need some vegetarian/pescetarian options.

Now, if the Mets could just do something about the ticket prices at Bailout, I could maybe even get to a game this year...

Make Sense of the Mess?

Some of you may have heard that there's an economic crisis going on. I'm slowly but surely getting my head around what happened. It's complicated and wonky and full of jargon, phrases, and acronyms I know nothing about.

Well, this little video (also embedded below) has been floating around for about a month and is a pretty nice visualization of the mess we're in. It explains some of the jargon and lays it all in simple-to-understand terms. It's more than eleven minutes long, but it really packs in a lot of information.

And it's sort of like a cartoon!


The Crisis of Credit Visualized from Jonathan Jarvis on Vimeo.

Happy Anniversary?

Today is the 20th anniversary of the Exxon Valdez spill off the coast of Alaska. The herring haven't returned, dangerous levels of toxicity remain in the water, and some plaintiffs have almost received enough in damages from Exxon to pay their bankruptcy lawyer's bill.

Originally, the jury awarded the plaintiffs $5 billion, equivalent to one year's income for Exxon in 1989. They decided on the amount because they thought that punishing corporations based on profit was the only way to protect people from the behemoths. The award was cut in half in the appeals process.

Then, last year, the Supreme Court of the United States cut it to $500 million, which might sound like a lot until you realize how the local economy and ecology have been completely decimated by the Exxon Valdez spill.

Those herring fishers who took out massive loans figuring they'd be able to pay them back with, say, their seasonal catch, well, they don't have a catch to catch anymore.

And yes, I get most of my information from Democracy Now! Maybe you should, too.

Nothing To See Here Folks, But...

If you're desperate for a little hot B&E action on a Sunday (on a Sunday? Really?), check out my guest post on the Artsy Fartsy Tim blog instead.

You (all six of you B&E readers) should check out Tim's blog regularly. He talks art and shows art, sometimes discusses politics, and he's rather obsessed with kiwis. Not the fruity kind, but the land-based bird with the long, pointy beak. What's not to like?

A Couple of Approaches

The death penalty, or the abolishing thereof, has once again (twice again?) been in the news this week.

First, New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson, whose office is being investigated by the FBI to such a degree that he withdrew his nomination for commerce secretary, abolished the death penalty in his state. He called it the toughest political decision he's ever had to make (although it almost had to have been harder to go with that Obama endorsement over Hillary in the primary).

In his announcement he said that he'd visited the prison where people serve life without the chance for parole and deemed it worse than death. So that's good enough. No more death penalty in New Mexico.

Meanwhile, B&E man-crush Russell "Damn, you" Feingold of the great state of Wisconsin, pulled his long-time favorite death penalty abolishing bill out of his back pocket, just for the pure fun of it. He cited that only China, Saudi Arabia, and Iran put to death more people than the United States. That's some good company!

Long-time B&E readers already know that I'm an anti-death penaltier. I'm a pretty cynical person, but nothing is more cynical than the death penalty. I believe in the power of redemption. I believe that even a person who's committed a terrible, terrible act has the potential to come to terms with that terrible, terrible act, and feel genuine remorse over it. And even if they have to stay in prison and live with that, the potential for redemption makes saving the life necessary.

Oh, and of course, sometimes justice screws up, and people on death row are innocent. Yeah, and the state shouldn't be in the business of murder.

So props to Governor Bill for getting rid of the death penalty and all, but what's with this, "Life without parole is worse than death"? Why you gotta make the death penalty sound like it's all weak on crime? Get outta here. That's just stupid. Get rid of the death penalty because it's wrong, Guv. Don't cop out on the issue, for crying out loud.

And real props to the stunningly and substantively attractive Russ "Your Policies Are" Feingold for putting up a good bill without any need to make excuses for it. God knows it won't pass, mostly because politicians are cowards. But it's nice to get the issue back on the table for discussion.

It's time, America. Let's grow up here.

What's Wrong with Sweden?

My online silence the past few days has been due to having guests in town, some lovely Swedes.

About seven years ago, the couple adopted a child, and in Sweden, the new parent of one's choosing gets thirteen months off at 80% of their salary to care for the child. The thirteen months can be taken in increments of the family's desire, any time during the first eight years of the child's life. The father needs to use up his parental leave soon, so they took a vacation.

Workers in Sweden get five weeks of paid vacation, guaranteed by federal law. Once the worker turns 40, they have to fill out a form to request a guaranteed sixth week of vacation every year. Sick days and sick leave is additional.

Health care in Sweden is, of course, free. The banks there are deeply regulated (not quite fully national). According to the couple, about 30% of their salaries go to pay taxes. Although they've seen the Swedish kroner drop in value just a little bit, they're one of the few countries in the world not in any sort of fiscal crisis. The government has money, and unemployment hasn't risen too much.

This year, the Swedish couple and their son will be traveling to New York, Florida, Scotland, and Greece. They went to Vietnam last year. The father is a school teacher who's planned their curriculum in such a way that the teachers in this tiny school district outside of Stockholm work four days a week. The mother works two days a week. They rent a tiny apartment in Stockholm and own a lovely house on an idyllic piece of property on the Baltic Sea. (They very kindly put us up during our vacation a couple years ago.)

Of course, they also said that because of the long, dark winters, the Swedes desperately need vacations. There are some problems with depression and drinking, but that whole thing about Sweden having the highest suicide rate in the world is a myth. And what, we don't have problems with depression and drinking in this country?

Unless I'm doing the math in my head wrong, I'm paying more than 30% of my salary to federal, state, and city taxes, and I'm not getting any free health care.

What the hell are they doing right in Sweden? And when people speak disdainfully about "Europe!", "socialism!", and "government health care!", I swear to Jesus Christ who died for me on the cross at Golgotha (the place of the skull), I'm just not seeing the problem with the Swedish system.

Humanity, equality, family, and quality of life are all good things. Come on, America! We've already embraced IKEA; let's embrace some Swedish values!

Dickhead of the Week - Uriah Heep

A lot of very smart people are just as angry as I am about this whole AIG bonus debacle, and much of what I think has already been said by others. But it sure seems that Edward Liddy, the CEO of AIG, is a good candidate for Dickhead of the Week here on B&E.

But alas, the (somewhat recent) BBC production of David Copperfield aired on NYC's public television over the past two Sundays, and for my money, no literary character (or TV miniseries character, although in this case I can actually claim to have read the book, not that I remember it) is slimier than Uriah Heep. "Oy'm joost an 'umble servant..." You skeeve me out, Heep, you utter douchebag.

Turns out Edward Liddy is Uriah Heep, turning the smarm up to eleven in his rationale for doling out the bonuses to the very people who chewed-up-crapped-out our economy. Uriah Liddy bows, he kowtows, and then he does exactly as he pleases.

Word of warning, Smarmy Edward of AIG... Uriah Heep got himself sent to prison. And come to think of it, so did another fella with your surname. See "Liddy, G. Gordon"...

Motivational Jeans

Thanks in part to giving up sweets and thanks in the other part to doing massive amounts of push-ups lately, I've lost a little weight recently. Just a little, really, but my jeans have gotten a bit loose around the waist. So a few weeks ago, the missus and I went out shopping for some new ones.

I'm sort of between sizes. So my options were loose around the waist, like my current jeans, or just a tad too tight.

As I was showing the missus a pair that was distinctly too tight for me, a salesman walked by, and complimented how they looked. I said, "I don't know, man. They're a little tight."

"They can be your motivational jeans!" he said.

"My motivational jeans are my old jeans."

He got a good chuckle out of that and wandered off. And I still haven't bought any new jeans.

Reading Material

I've been admittedly quiet on the bloggy front the past couple of days, so until I find the time to get something down worth perusing (and as most readers know, my standards for "worth perusing" are quite low), let me offer this entertainment instead (from The Nation, of course).

Obama Keeps Tapping

President Obama is doing too much! He's working too hard! He's employing too many people! He's solving unemployment by hiring everyone himself!

Anyway, President Obama has tapped Van Jones. (Heh, heh.) Sorry... President Obama has appointed Van Jones a special adviser for green jobs.

Van Jones has been making some national noise over the past year or so as an activist and environmentalist. He writes from time to time in The Nation magazine and has been a guest multiple times on Democracy Now!. He wrote a book called The Green Collar Economy, and his nonprofit Green For All helps lift people out of poverty through environmental jobs.

I like this fella a lot. I'm a fan of that place where environmentalism intersects with social justice, and Van Jones is pretty much the man taking up the space there.

These quiet appointments can be very powerful in an Obama administration, and assuming that Van gets his voice heard in the White House, this tapping (heh, heh) demonstrates some terrific progressive thinking. Well done, President Obama. Well done, Van Jones.

Some Might Call It "Working"

On the occasions that I've found myself seeking employment, my college-educated, bourgeois* self gravitates to white-collar jobs that require writing in some form. Copywriting is close enough for my job needs, and I almost always settle for that.

In their job listings, these positions usually call for a willingness to work under deadlines, the ability to multitask, and all of those other qualifiers included in most job descriptions.

So yeah, I'm fairly used to multitasking.

In the past day or so, TPM has drawn some attention to what may be the newest attack (from the right) on President Barack Obama: He's doing too much at once!

Well, hell, people. It's called a job. He's the "leader of the free world." I'm assuming that there are a lot of daily tasks - short and long-term ones - that make up a typical day. I would hope that he can do some of them. Maybe even a lot of them. I mean, if multitasking is part of my job description, it sure as shit is part of the President's.

How little were we expecting from President Bush that the complaint about Obama is that he's trying too hard?



[* I just want to give some props to the Oxford American Writer's Thesaurus, which includes this fine "word note" from Zadie Smith (and is also featured on the back cover jacket, where I read it first) with regard to bourgeois:

When using this word it is essential to remember that it is completely bourgeois to say of something or someone "How bourgeois." If you do not mind this inference, then the word is at your disposal.

Thank you, Zadie Smith. I do not mind the inference. Not one bit.]

One Hundred. You Heard Me: One Hundred.

So at my job back in August, one colleague said something about her boyfriend doing the hundred push-ups challenge. Six weeks to a hundred push-ups.

We appreciate quick opportunities to blow off steam at my job, and it's a genial atmosphere full of hard work and laughter. It's a pretty good job. So most of us decided we'd try out this six-week workout.

You begin with a test. Do as many as you can. I've never had much upper body strength, and the fact is I am, as the Scots might say, a big girl's blouse. I also haven't done much working out of any sort over the past few years, and I sit at my desk all day writing (and we're not on manual typewriters or anything, so even my fingers are pretty weak). I had pretty low expectations.

Eight, OK? I could do eight.

So we worked our way through the thing. There were six of us participating. A couple tried it out. A couple others never bothered. But on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, beginning at the end of August, we did push-ups as a group. Camaraderie, B&E readers! 5:00 pm rolls around and someone shouts: "Push-ups, people!"

Six-week workout, my ass. I'd say it was just us effete white collar dweebs, but one of my colleagues very nearly made the women's Olympic field hockey team. That woman is strong, and that woman can do push-ups. So it's not just that I'm, as the Scots might say, a total Jessie. Six-week workout, my ass.

Still, we were making progress, and we forged onward. If we couldn't complete a week's workout, we worked our way through anyway, and then repeated the week. A couple of people gave up, and dropped out. But most of us stuck it out.

Ten or twelve weeks into the workout, we all ended up taking a couple of weeks off around the holidays, which set us way back. But we came back and picked up where we left off. Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays. 5:00 pm.

About three weeks ago, our field hockey player did 105 push-ups, finishing the challenge. The rest of us forged on.

I did one hundred push-ups today. The last three were a little feeble, but I did them. From eight to 100 push-ups in six... months!

This big girl's blouse of a Jessie did 100 push-ups.

Feeling Done With That

I get that most reasonable people in the United States see Rush Limbaugh as, at best, divisive and, at worst, a flabby prick. (Actually, it can get worse than "flabby prick," and my own opinion lies somewhere between "Satan's excrement" and "walking abortion.")

So I understand all of the Democratic Party nonsense about referring to Rush as the de facto head of the Republican Party. Marginalize the opposition. Yeah, it's good politics. I get it.

It's also tiresome. I mean, shit, Democrats... We've got the worst economy ever, wars around the world, health care crises, etc., etc., etc. And yes, our current president seems to be addressing these issues seriously and staying above the Silly.

During the Bush administration, I got myself on many, many email lists for many, many progressive organizations (and every wing of the Democratic Party) advocating on behalf of terrific issues.

Now a bunch of them are asking me to sign petitions about Rush Limbaugh.

Really? This is what's important? Come on, people. There's a goddamned opportunity to make some real difference on a whole host of issues, and you're spending your valuable resources standing up to Rush Limbaugh?

You're marginalizing yourself, Left. Knock it off.

The Obvious Solution

We really have been hearing a lot in the past week or so about Obama's graying hair. He appears to be going grayer rather quickly.

Well, Michael Tomasky at the UK's Guardian newspaper presents three potential outcomes for Obama and offers an effective recommendation. And I must say that I agree wholeheartedly. (Watch to the end for the solution.)

[Thanks to the missus for sending this one to me.]

So Then, What's Citi Field Worth?

Hats off to HuffingtonPost, not that they particularly need a plug from me. They put together a short slide show of things that cost more than a share of Citigroup stock.

I was lulled into complacency by the cup of Starbucks coffee. When I clicked the "next" button, I was grateful that I wasn't drinking something...

Citibank ATM fees cost more than a Citi share.

Johan Santana's elbow is the least of our concerns. Citi Field can't possibly bode well for the Mets.

Good Night, Horton

A fond farewell goes to Horton Foote, who died yesterday at 92. Playwright and screenwriter, the man expressed with a simple elegance.

He won two well-deserved screenwriting Oscars. The first was for his adaptation of To Kill a Mockingbird. And as great as that film turned out, it's the spare yet powerful emotion built into his script for Tender Mercies that I tend to look to when I need a little touch of minimalist beauty. Every time I've watched it, I can't help asking, "How in the hell does something so simple work so well?"

Some of his plays are pretty good, too.

Thank you for writing, Horton Foote.

Live Blog - The Bachelor - After the Rose Ceremony!

I finished up this week's episode of 24 and turned over to The Bachelor. In my defense, the missus was coming home and asked me to.

In the finale, Jason chose Melissa, and then came out for the post-finale and told the host that he wanted to dump her and get reacquainted with the woman he dumped in the finale! He wants to be with Molly!

If you think that's not worth live-blogging about, you don't know good television.

He's doing it right now! There's no live audience or anything, but he's dumping her on national television in front of Chris Harrison, the host! It's a public dumping!

Oh, and Melissa's not happy. Imagine that. Oh, yeah, she's freaking out. She's pissed he doesn't want to try. Melissa's so angry that Melissa is speaking of Melissa in the third person. "Melissa gets the ring on her finger, but you won't fight for Melissa!"

Damn! She called him a bastard! And I'm not sure she's wrong. This is brutal, and I think she might be right: he is a bastard.

She just gave the ring back. Now, if he's dumping her (and on national television), doesn't she get to keep and sell the ring? I mean, hell. There was something like 170 diamonds on that thing. Keep the ring, woman! Sell the shit out if it!

And the missus agrees: he's a bastard. Oh, poor single dad, you're such a good father who was horribly heart-broken by your ex-wife, and you have the sympathy of everyone in the country. Well, you're losing it all right now, my friend.

I wonder if they sat there in silence during the commercial break. Boy, that must've been awkward.

Jason hates himself, but he's sticking to his guns. The host is finally excusing himself from this god-awful awkwardness, telling Melissa that there's a limo waiting for her (so that's nice), and she told him (Jason, not Chris) to fuck off but in language appropriate for ABC.

Jason's pained. I'm laughing at his pain. Poor bastard.

Melissa's crying in the limo, naturally. She hurts. And she's awfully cynical for a 25-year-old. OK, now she's boring me. She's accepting that there's a lesson even if she can't see it. Look, woman. There's no lesson. Jason's a douchebag and he just fucked you over royally on national television. Ain't no lesson there.

And Chris takes his awkward spot on stage next to Jason again. He's crying. Jason's crying, not Chris. I'm sorry, but he's a total douche. Jason, not Chris. And a little defensive. Poor Chris has to try to sound upbeat as he cuts to commercial: Molly's coming out, right after this! This is probably hardest on him. Chris, not Jason.

Commercials. Jim Perdue was wearing hen slippers.

Molly's about to come back out. Without Jason. She's having her seemingly normal rejectee interview with Chris, as if Jason's not about to ask her back. Clips of "I love you" talk from Molly. She looks a little horrified to be reliving this nonsense.

So now she's gotta go through all that again with Host Chris. She's admitted that she still has feelings for him. Jason, not Chris. Chris is baiting her: You're still in love with him, aren't you? This is just mean.

The show is working on the missus. She likes Molly a lot more than she ever has. Chris is baiting like hell: Have you thought about what if he said he made a mistake? Oh, she's going to be a mess when Jason comes back out. Right after the break!

All the commercials are targeted toward women. I shouldn't be watching this. Well, maybe the waffle breakfast is targeted to people like me.

Molly's about to be joined by the douchebag. She's asking him questions. "When did you know?" that she wasn't the one. They're really milking this. It's getting boring to me; and it must be getting boring to read about.

Now he's telling her. She's confused. She can't believe what she's hearing. She thinks she's being punk'd or something. It's starting to hit her now. She's speechless. Her response is not fake. All she can muster is, "But what about Melissa?" Jason's just admitted that he's in love with Molly. She still doesn't know what to say. She can't say anything...

AND CHRIS CUTS TO COMMERCIAL! It's like the silence was becoming bad television, and he had to cut away.

How does Chris end up in the middle of this drama and awkwardness? Oh, right. He's the host.

And we're back, waiting for Molly's response. Even after a break, she doesn't know what to say. She's confused and wants to talk, but she's also admitted to having the same feelings, and blah blah blah. Of COURSE they're going to give it another shot.

Hm... If they're serious, maybe they should give it a shot... oh, I don't know... off camera?

In the meantime, they're kissing on camera.

Chris: "Guys! America's watching this!"

As if it wasn't before, this is really fucking stupid now. Jason's douchey. There's just no way around it. So when this doesn't work out, he'll really be the biggest douche on the planet.

Chris just said, "It's been an historic journey." You pronounce the H in history, Chris. It's "a historic journey," you pretentious twit. An historic journey? Puh-lease.

Tap That

Every time, President Obama selects someone to join his cabinet, the headlines announce that Obama's tapped that person. At some point, a young rapscallion in the newsroom should tell the editor-in-charge-of-headlines that there's an alternative meaning to "tap" that makes immature jackasses such as myself giggle.

Jackass 1: Obama totally tapped Sebelius.

Jackass 2: Dude, I wouldn't tap that.

Jackass 1: Are you kidding? I'd tap that. She's a total GILF.

Jackass 2: No way, man, but that Hilda Solis? I'd totally tap that. Hottest Labor Secretary ever. Total LSILF.

Heh, heh... Obama tapped the Governor of Kansas... Heh... Tapped...