Anti-Dickhead of This Moment - Tim DeChristopher

I haven't given out an Anti-Dickhead award for quite some time, as the Dickhead/Anti-Dickhead feature has gone mostly the way of the archives here at B&E. But I still like to keep my ears and eyes open for total Dickhead moves (with Blagojevich and Madoff getting recent shout-outs), with the occasional Anti-Dickhead move thrown in (anyone out there remember my frequent expressions of love for Russell "Oh, So" Feingold?)

Anyway, over in Utah, there's been a little last-minute Bush Administration oil industry gift happening in the form of an auction hosted by the Bureau of Land Management. Who wants oil drilling rights to wilderness land? Come and get it!

But then Tim DeChristopher, a student at the University of Utah in Salt Lake City, finished his final exam and went to the protest outside the auction. Except that Tim didn't join the protesters. Instead, he walked inside and joined the bidding.

You see, because this whole thing has been put together so quickly by the Bush Administration, no one had time to do any bidder vetting. And boy, did Tim bid. By the time people figured out he was a fraud, he'd purchased more than 22,000 acres of wilderness and driven up the prices on thousands more.

Tim has brilliantly thrown the whole thing into chaos. The US Attorney is figuring out what to charge him with. Fraud? Maybe, but if he comes up with the $45,000 for the first payment, he hasn't actually committed fraud. He'll be showing that he meant to buy it.

But he's also confused the proceedings enough that the auction can't be reorganized for another month or so. Perhaps the Bureau of Land Management can have the auction then, but here's the kicker...

In a month, we'll have a new president. John Podesta, who heads up the transition team, has spoken out against the land sale. An Obama Administration may stop it altogether, if they can.

It's really amazing what this University student has done by simply raising a bidding paddle. No destruction of property, no violence, and no standing on the sidelines yelling about it. Instead he perpetrated a perfect little act of civil disobedience. And although he'd really prefer not to go to prison, he's willing to, if it comes to that.

That makes Tim DeChristopher my Anti-Dickhead of This Moment.

[Thanks to Democracy Now! for reporting on the story, even if I'm way late on it (lost in the holiday fun) and didn't hear about it until more than a week after it aired.]

FISA's Anti-Dickheads

Obama voted for the FISA bill, along with a wide majority of Senators. Two Senators deserve a shout-out for shouting out against this bill with clarity and conviction:

Russell "Oh, So" Feingold and Christopher "The Days and Nights of Molly" Dodd led a valiant (if doomed) effort to defeat the bill. As covered in The Nation, Russell "That Man Is" Feingold said:

"I don't believe this will be remembered as the 'immunity' bill... [The bill] is going to be remembered as the legislation in which Congress granted the executive branch the power to sweep up all of our international communications with very few controls or oversight."

Pulling from the same article, Chris "Mod" Dodd...

told the Senate, passage of the measure will sanction lawlessness by an Administration that has engaged in "a pattern of abuse against civil liberties and the rule of law [and] against the Constitution."

Well put, you sexy, sexy senators.

And perhaps this is a good time to remind the world (or at least those seven global citizens who read B&E) that Russell "Damn, You Look" Feingold was the only Senator who voted against the Patriot Act. And look, Democrats! He hasn't lost re-election because of it!

How in the hell did the feckless Democrats hand the lame duck Bush such an enormous victory? It's amazing.

Anti-Dickhead of the Week - Ehren Watada

watada
Originally uploaded by dangunderman.

Considering Lt. Ehren Watada made his announcement on June 7, I'm feeling like I came a little late to this party. Lt. Watada has become the first commissioned officer to refuse to serve in Iraq because of his belief that the war is illegal and that his participation would make him party to war crimes.

It is perhaps because the Army has now charged him with contempt toward the president (among other charges) that the Lieutenant's actions have made a slightly larger blip in the media. (So far, I've only seen coverage in The Nation. While I'm a fan of The Nation, when I read stories there that deserve more exposure, I fear they've been published in a lefty graveyard.) Lt. Watada faces up to seven years in prison for his refusal to serve.

Many of us have said from the beginning that the war in Iraq is immoral and illegal. The argument of the war's immorality is one that's been easy for me to make. Since I'm no great shakes as an international policy lawyer, the legal argument has been a bigger challenge for my feeble mind. I've just got a vague notion that a pre-emptive war (i.e. a war of aggression) goes against everything the UN stands for.

What I like about this 28-year-old looker called Watada is that he makes a cogent argument against the war's legality. (There's some video on that link for those inclined.) He's no hippie-conscientious-objector masquerading as an army officer. He just won't fight an illegal, unjust war.

Well, right on, Watada. You get on with your bad, Hawaiian self.

Naturally, there's a website advocating on his behalf as well. Because nothing's legitimate until it's got a website.

So I've got an Anti-Dickhead this week, but no Dickhead. I'm open to suggestions in the comments of this here posting. Thanks.

Anti-Dickhead of the Week - Steve Almond

almond
Originally uploaded by dangunderman.

For those of you not familiar with Steve Almond, he's the author of several collections of stories, as well as a memoir to which I'm quite partial, called Candy Freak. It's a well-documented look at his love for all things sweet.

Steve's writing is satirical, wicked, and funny. I don't remember where I heard this, exactly, but he's reported to be quite the lunatic in person. Good times.

Well, after five years of teaching writing at Boston College, he's resigning in protest over BC's decision to invite Condi Rice to receive an honorary degree and to be this year's commencement speaker.

He leaves the funny behind in his resignation letter and instead relies on a lucid, cogent clarity that good writers are so good at. Incidentally, I'm guessing Steve would never use good twice in one sentence. He'd probably find a better word than good to use in the first place.

Dude. He calls Condi a liar. Heh. In print. Heh, heh. Oh, thank you, Steve. I mean, obviously, people have called the woman a liar before, but for some reason, it sounds better in his open letter.

Let's just hope Steve's students are inspired to exercise their first amendment rights, as he requests.

[Thanks to Phil for the heads-up.]

Where's the Colbert?

I ran into Virgil at Sunnyside's new daytime coffee hangout, The Grind (the name's still stupid, but I can work there, as long as I listen to my own music), and he remarked at how little press coverage Anti-Dickhead of the Week Stephen Colbert's speech has gotten. For a full-frontal blistering assault less than ten feet from the president's face, it's shocking that the only buzz on the speech has been left to what is commonly (and sillily) called "the blogosphere."

Well, Virgil, you and I aren't alone in our dismay at the lack of coverage. I guess the press doesn't much like being mocked by a comedian. Stupid, hypersensitive, whiny press.

Brian Williams of NBC Nightly News has been on The Daily Show. He's even been moderately funny. Hey, Brian! Cover Colbert! Or does NBC not let pretty boys decide what's on the news?

Anti-Dickhead of the Week - Stephen Colbert

colbert
Originally uploaded by dangunderman.

Prepare yourself. And give yourself a few minutes to enjoy Stephen Colbert's speech at the White House Correspondence Dinner last night.

An article summarizing his appearance is here, if you don't have the time or desire to watch video online.

Check out Part I here.
Part II here.
And Part III here.
(If, for some reason, those links don't work, go to www.youtube.com and do a search using the terms, "Colbert roasts Bush.")

Generally speaking, the incredibly uncomfortable humor is done better by the Brits. From Fawlty Towers to The Office to Da Ali G Show comedy derived from the squirm factor makes for some of my favorite entertainment.

Stephen nailed it. He consistently and unwaveringly mocked the president and the press, and yet, with a complete lack of self-consciousness, he addressed both directly, fearlessly making eye contact with the president, even while in mid-mockery.

The man was given a golden opportunity to skewer the president in the best possible way, and I will forever be grateful that Stephen Colbert didn't squander it.

I'm Not Alone

russ thong
Originally uploaded by dangunderman.

Others share my love for Russ "Oh, So" Feingold.

Blondandeffective (if that is indeed her name) made me aware of these fine products available for sale.

Get them now, people, before Russ officially declares his candidacy and changes the logo to something even more boring and politically typical.

Hey, Blondandeffective! How come there's no Russ Feingold hijab? That's some kind of major fucking oversight!

Anti-Dickhead of the Week - More Anti-Dickheadedness!

feingold
Originally uploaded by dangunderman.

Yes, my lover, Russ "Balls of" Feingold, has done it again. He continues to seduce me away from my hetero ways.

Russ has become the first (tell me if you know of another) U.S. Senator to "come out" in favor of gay marriage.

Democrats are politically bisexual when it comes to gay marriage. They've blown the issue (so to speak), trying to have it both ways. Yes to civil unions. No to gay marriage. Gay-haters aren't going to distinguish between the two things anyway, and until gay folks have the same rights as everyone else, we'll have yet another whole set of second-class citizens in our country.

And the last thing we want is to breed an entire generation of gay terrorists!

Some of you may ask if Russ's pending divorce and his support of gay marriage have anything to do with my love for Russ "Oh, So" Feingold. Well, I say, "Shame on you. How dare you insinuate that Russ would have such poor taste as to take up with a bald, hairy man such as myself. Russ has much more class."

Oh! Unless he's a member of the Bear Club!

That Sound Is the Pitter Patter of My Heart

Oh, Sweet Russell, you put the tit in titillating with your fightin' words and northern midwestern charm.

[Observer link via the Huffington Post.]

In Further Praise of Mighty Russell

William Greider offers his own praise of sexy Senator Russell Oh-So Feingold. Not only does he state the case with more eloquence than I do, but he sounds considerably less gay.

Anti-Dickhead of the Week - Russ Feingold

feingold
Originally uploaded by dangunderman.

Generally, I focus on the negative. It makes for funnier reading. But Yahweh bless Senator Russell Feingold from the great cheese-eating state of Wisconsin.

My desire to have an affair with Russell "Oh, So" Feingold has only increased with the idiotic Democratic Party's cool reception of Russ's call for censure.

But like Jack Murtha before him, he's not shutting up just because he lacks party leader support. Instead, he's attacking the Democrats that cower to a president who would lose to Marge Schott in a popularity contest.

Oh, sweet, sweet Russell. Speak loudly in those dulcet tones. Shout the truth. Then take your choice of cuddlemate. For the world of women, men, and everyone in-between yearns to embrace the fire in your belly and all those fleshy bits around it.