Left and Right and... Left?

When one looks at the radical left wing to find dangerous criminals or terrorists, only one name really comes up with any regularity: Bill Ayers. His name only comes up because he's met President Obama.

Bill was a member of the Weather Underground. The Weather Underground killed exactly three people. Those people were all members of the Weather Underground who died in an explosion by a bomb in their possession. All Weather Underground attacks were done to property during non-business hours, usually with the warning that they were coming.

My point is that the radical left doesn't seem to kill people.

The radical right seems a little less queasy about murder. Timothy McVeigh blew up the Oklahoma City building in 1995 just after 9:00 AM, when people were there. Violence against abortion providers has killed a couple of handfuls of people (the most recent, of course, being George Tiller, the doctor in Kansas). And James von Brunn (allegedly) opened fire in the Holocaust museum.

Then you get dangerous Dickheads like Randall Terry (formerly of Operation Rescue) excusing the violence against abortion providers, while doing everything he can to separate himself from the von Brunn type of violence. Well, Mr. Terry, you're both part of a right-wing movement.

Unless you believe the right-wing media, which seems hell-bent on getting von Brunn lumped along with the left-wing radicals, and (also found via TPM)... lesbians?

Sorry, dudes, but neo-Nazi philosophies - whether coming from politicians, nutjobs, or murderers - are right-wing ideas. Von Brunn is yours.

So, yeah... Nice work bad-mouthing that report from the Department of Homeland Security that discussed the danger of right-wing violence a few weeks back.

Git Yer Paws Off Our First Lady, Lady!

It was totally inappropriate the way Queen Elizabeth groped Michelle Obama at Buckingham Palace.

I don't know what sense of entitlement you have, old woman, but that there is our First Lady. She is not to be groped, stroked, embraced, pushed, fondled, cupped, manhandled, or, indeed, queen-handled.

You may recall a little thing we call the Revolutionary War. Perhaps you refer to it as the Colonist Uprising or the New World Rebellion. Because we kicked your red-coated ass right out of our country, you can't just get all grabby with Michelle Obama like that.

You do not rule over our First Lady's ass.

Death to the Arts!

So I had occasion to peruse the National Endowment for the Arts website the other day, and was drawn to a bit of curiousness.

At the bottom of their donation page (apparently government organizations can accept tax-deductible donations from the public), it reads thusly:

Please note that mail sent to the Arts Endowment is frequently delayed due to security screening procedures, including irradiation. If you mail a contribution, please allow 3-4 weeks for a response.

Really? Irradiation? Are we afraid that terrorists are going to bomb/anthrax the National Endowment for the Arts? "Death to the Arts in America!"?

Look, terrorists. This is America. We're killing the arts just fine without your help, thank you very much.

What About Endy?

About a week ago, the Huffington Post alerted me to this article. To summarize, after his almost assured re-election, President Hugo Chavez might decide to restrict the rights of talented Venezuelans who want to play baseball in the US. "Das ist verboten!" Hugo says, although he says it in Spanish.

Oh, Hugo. Overall, you rate positively here at B&E. But my most recent previous post about you covered the weird sulphur smell comments you made at the UN, and now this. If you keep Endy Chavez from returning to the Mets, I might just have to name you Dickhead of the Week.

One other little thing about the article. The British are so cute when they talk about baseball. They say the most popular Venezuelan baseball player is Bob Abreu. Heh. Bob. Does anyone call him Bob? And is he really that popular?

Is That the Devil I Smell, Or Did You Fart?

hugo
Originally uploaded by dangunderman.

I'm admittedly late getting in on the conversation about Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. (I've got a job.) On the other hand, Hugo's been on my radar for some time, and I've generally enjoyed watching what he's doing, even if there are some questionable aspects to his leadership.

Lately, though, I've been wondering if Hugo's upped his dosage of crazy pills. Go hang by the bedside of Fidel Castro. That's understandable. But chilling with Iran's president Mahmoud "Let's Wipe Israel Off the Map" Ahmadinejad had me going, "Whaaaa?" And while he may have his semi-legitimate reasons for calling Bush "the devil," his complaints about the lingering stench of sulphur at the UN podium were a bit over the top. If not downright nuts.

Back in his home country again, Hugo's saying that Bush should resign (I agree there) and defending his use of the term "devil" to describe Bush, explaining that his speech was also meant to be humorous. You know, those Venezuelans are best known for their sense of humor. Endy Chavez of the Mets (no relation that I know of) is the clubhouse prankster, which is a juicy tidbit I just totally invented.

I don't necessarily have much to add to the discussion, but if, like me, you wanted to read more about Hugo, here are some links: This one is a lefty analysis of Chavez's "new world vision." This one talks about how Chavez is a pariah to Republicans and Democrats alike, now that he's complained of the devil's putrid stench. And while I don't always like to link to things that piss me off, this one puts Hugo's anti-American rants in the context of an OPEC nation, rather than a Latin American one. Naturally, what pisses me off in this analysis is the denial that the West has in fact screwed Latin America and bled much of the Third World dry. This is why some people oppose "globalization." So why link to it? I don't fucking know. It's 7am on a Saturday, and I woke up early, and I just finished my first week of full-time work in well over five years. So shut up.

Mahmoud's Letter to George

I'm sure some of you have heard that Iran's leader, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, wrote a letter to George W. Bush. It is the first letter from an Iranian president to an American president in 27 years. An Iranian spokesman made the announcement, adding, "It's not an open letter," so its contents are completely secret.

But now, a B&E exclusive! I have acquired a copy of the letter, and I reprint it for my loyal B&E readers. Enjoy...

Dear Friend,

I hope my letter meets you well. I am in need of your assistance. My name is MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD, I am the President of Iran, and we have about $65 Million US dollars that we want to move out of the country. My partners and I need a good partner someone we can trust. It is oil money and legal.

But we are moving it through diplomatic means, to send it to your house directly or a bank of your choice using diplomatic courier service. The most important thing is that CAN WE TRUST YOU? Once the funds get to you, you will take your 35% out and keep our own 65%. Your own part of this deal is to find a safe place where the funds can be sent to and kept. Our own part is sending it to your doorstep where the consignment will be delivered to you. If you are interested you will need to give me your full names, an identity, address, telephone and fax number where the diplomat will reach you as soon as he arrives your country and i will furnish you with more details that will facilitate your immediate access to the fund.  But the whole process is simple and we must keep a low profile at all times.

Please reply me with this email for security purposes: israeldoesnotexist@virgilio.it

Thanking you and waiting for your urgent and favourable response.

Regards,
PRESIDENT MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD

Don't give him your bank information, Mr. President! It's a spam letter!

Chavez v. Bushie

Chavez
Originally uploaded by dangunderman.

The left-wing president of oil-rich Venezuela, Hugo Chavez, has insisted for some time that the U.S. government has been trying to bump him off. That Pat Robertson called for his assassination not so long ago only fueled the man's fire against President Bush, whom he calls "Mr. Danger."

So at the free trade talks in Argentina, Bushie's trying to pretend that Hugo doesn't exist. Hugo, meanwhile, continues to jab and taunt.

With much oil and about eight refineries not damaged at all by Katrina, Hugo offers ten percent of its total output on the cheap to schools and non-profits in poor communities. Needless to say, this has been incredibly popular in the Bronx.

Additionally, what this means is that there's a way to buy oil and gasoline without supporting Bush himself. Get your gas at Citgo, a major U.S. distributor of Venezuelan oil. I like the one one Queens Boulevard. They're not everywhere, but I hope you can find one near you.